Tupac Fer Sher!

I just got back from Duane Reade.  It didn't go well.

You see, this weekend, I was supposed to go to my 25 Year High School Reunion (yes, 25 years!), but because my show ran long (and I knew I would be cutting it close when I bought the ticket), I missed my train home.  The next train wouldn't get me there until the reunion was already 2/3 over, so I decided to bag it altogether.

Instead, I continued my cleaning craze!  My apartment, for as old and worn as it is, now looks like the show unit of the building!  Every room in the house has been scrubbed to within an inch of its life and all of the drawers and cubby holes and storage boxes/rubber maid tubs have been searched through and organized/cleaned out.  Out went two tall kitchen garbage bags full of shredded paper.  Out went my very first computer, which has been gathering dust since the dark ages.  Out went gobs and gobs of recyclables. And gobs and gobs of trash.

I did find a cassette tape I bought last March that was still in the wrapper in the bag with the receipt.  I remember buying it thinking it was a cassette tape and I wanted to record my choir rehearsal so I could work on the music on my own.  When I got to the rehearsal, however, I noticed it was a tape for a video camera and not a cassette tape!  Well, I went home and stuck it in my desk and forgot about it.

Until yesterday.  I don't have a video camera, so I knew I couldn't use it, so I decided to take it back to the Duane Reade where I bought it and get my $8.00 back (clue #1).  I traipsed across the street to the corner of 6th Avenue and 57th Street and entered the store.  One register was empty and, proud of myself for still having the receipt and for taking the initiative to return it and not just waste the money, I ambled, head held high, to the open cashier and said, "I'd like to return this, please.  It's not what I needed."

No problem.

Until she scanned it and it came up "NO PRICE." (Clue #2)  She said,

"This is coming up 'NO PRICE'" and I said,

"Well I can see that, but you have the receipt right in front of you."

She said,

"it's coming up 'NO PRICE'" and turns the monitor so that I can see it (it's one of those cash registers that has a display on both sides, so I could see exactly what she had seen, but she felt the need to turn it so that I could see her side.)

I said,

"Yes, it's coming up the same way on my side, but you have the receipt right in front of you."

"But it's coming up 'NO PRICE,'" she said.

"Uh, yeah, you've already said that.  But I have the receipt, which I've given to you, which clearly shows how much I paid for it.  In cash."

Finally, after two more "It's coming up 'NO PRICE'" answers from the clerk (it may be the only English she knows), the manager intervened.  Now this had not been in any way a heated discussion between the clerk and I, but we both, I think, were beginning to get a little frustrated.

I say to the manager, "All I want to do is return this and get my money back.  It's coming up 'NO PRICE' but I have a receipt."  It seemed quite simple to me!

The manager picked up my receipt and, after a moment, said,

"Sir, this was a two-pack purchase."

PAUSE.

"Never mind" and I left the store.

Okay, so I looked at the receipt yesterday and REMEMBER having two of these cassettes and wondered "Why is there only one reflected on this receipt?  I guess they only charged me for one the first time!  Score!!!!"

Not so much.

I remember now going to choir rehearsal the night I purchased these tapes, unwrapping one of them and realizing my mistake.  The seven months since that night had dimmed my memory, it seems.

Comments

[hartwell]

This was a very enjoyable read!!! HILARIOUS!! about the cassette tape.

[Air Jordan]

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.

[Bedding]

OMG that is remarkable! I admire your work! Guess I am not as contemporaneous as your usual readers! I swear I have fallen in love with your blog... Great writing! You're an amazingly talented person, keep up the individuality :)