Trying Not to Burn Bridges

A conundrum.

I have a friend who is late to everything!  EVERYTHING!  He invited a good number of people to get together this weekend and was nearly an hour and a half late to that.  People were there, waiting.  Several left out of frustration; others hung out just long enough for them to get there before they left, as well.  Whenever we have made plans together, I always end up waiting, I would say, at least a half hour before his arrival.  Sometimes, there's an apology.  Always, there's an excuse.  Or excuses.  He has never been on time for anything we've done together.  We've missed shows for which we had tickets.  We've lost reservations at restaurants, etc.

So, today, when he volunteered for something that requires punctuality; in fact, in some ways it relies on punctuality, he was offended when I balked at the idea because of his habitual tardiness.  And he said he was surprised at my hesitation.

Come on!  I apologized in order to avoid any escalation, but I also told him from where it stemmed.  He agreed, but made excuses for each occurrence I cited.  As usual.

Now, the Crazy Cuban would say, and I would definitely agree with her, that this is just something I need to accept when dealing with this person.  But where do I draw the line?  Should I have accepted his offer to take on the task I needed him to and just hope he'd show up with some semblance of punctuality without saying anything about previous experiences?

When we make plans to do things together, which is rare now, because we're both so busy, I always show up late, because I know he will.  And I'm still always there first.  I love his company; we always have a great time together and I have accepted, not without some frustration obviously, that he will not be on time.  But should I risk the reputation of an organization to which I've made a commitment on the basis that he's my friend?

Comments

[Eric]

I'm going to have to say, don't risk it. If he's truly this way, it's just a matter of him being who he is. Whether that's good or bad isn't really for me to say, but if he can't be reliable in showing up at a specific time, excuses or not, then there's no reason to risk your relationshiwp with someone/something else who WILL view it as a mistake.

[lola]

Try to explain to him what the problem is, talk sincerely and calmly. I'd also recommend your friend a book ( http://file.sh/Psychology+-+A+Self-Teaching+Guide+torrent.html ), which teaches how to get rid of such problems. But it will be useful only if he understands all the importance of the situation.